'I'm being a bit taken advantage of': Roommate neglects their cat by going on vacation for 9 days, forcing fellow flatmate to confront her about being a bad pawrent

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Jun 4, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Every cat owner knows that one of the main advantages of having cats over dogs is that they are self-sufficient. You can stay stress-free while spending 8+ hours at work while your fluffy felines nap at home, and then enjoy their screams for food as you walk in the door. You can even go away for a weekend every once in a while with just someone to check in on them and make sure they have enough food and water. Dogs, however, need walks in the middle of the day and are not the best at staying home alone. 

That doesn't mean that you can go away for multiple days at a time, constantly, and expect them to be okay. No house cat is that self-sufficient. That's why the flatmate in the story below is deciding to confront her roommate about being a bad pawrent - she leaves her cat alone for multiple days at a time, constantly, and just recently was gone for 9 days. Do you think she should say something? Read through all the details below.

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  • 01
    'I don't even know how to begin to tell someone that they're being a terrible pet parent'
    via Suwan Wanawattanawang's Images

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I live with two roommates, Nathan and Jess. My roommate Jess of a few months has a cat that I absolutely adore. His name is Spot and he's so sweet and gentle. The thing is, he needs a LOT of human companionship. He always
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 03
    wants to be around someone, even if it's just him napping in the same room, and is constantly meowing and scratching at my, Nathan, and Jess' doors.
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706

  • Just because cats can be on their own, doesn't mean that they necessarily like being alone. One of our cats would follow us everywhere if they could. Another one would be purrfectly happy if we only fed them and never spoke to them again. Some cats really crave hooman affection, and as a pawrent, you should give it to them.

  • 04
    When Jess moved in, there were times where she would leave for a while, sometimes for three days straight. I thought this was strange but she would always leave enough dry food in Spot's bowl. However, Spot won't drink
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 05
    out of a still water bowl (and she knew this, but for some reason would still leave it for him), so when Jess was gone like this Spot would jump on our counters and meow until I opened the sink for him. I would always redirect him to Jess'
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 06
    bathroom sink when this would happen and eventually got him to a point where he seemed to understand that he could only drink from her sink.
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 07
    Recently, Jess went on a 9-day trip where she asked me to catsit for her. It wasn't much of a big deal to me since I live there and hang out with the cat all the time anyways. Only difference is I would change his litter box and food, and make
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 08
    130001 www
    via RossHelen

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    sure he was drinking water. Before going on this trip she bought him a motion sensor sink fountain that he actually drank from. She's had the cat for 6 years, so though I'm appalled that it took her this long to find something he would drink out
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 10
    of, I'm glad it at least happened. The trip was a sweet time for me in the sense that I enjoyed sleeping with the cat each night, and felt like I was able to bond more with him.
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 11
    The thing is, after this 9-day period, Spot has been more clingy with me. Now when Jess goes on her 3-day weekend outings, her cat will meow at me until I follow it into Jess' room while it eats (even though he
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706

  • If this were an occasional thing, we don't think there would be an issue. But constantly asking a roommate to watch your cat is just bad pawrenting. When you get a pet, you agree to put their needs before yours and to give them the best life you can. It doesn't sound like she's doing that for her cat. 

  • 12
    has a full bowl of dry food, he just wants me to be there when he's eating). This has been disrupting my sleep when she's gone, since the cat gets me up at 5 am. This wouldn't be a big deal if I didn't already struggle with sleeping consistently, but
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 13
    some nights I struggle to fall asleep until very late, so at times like this it can be quite annoying, especially since I've been waking up fairly early for work.
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 14
    Again, I love this cat. I just feel like I'm being a bit taken advantage of by being a regular caretaker for it. I refuse to not care for a cat that needs it, so even though I feel like it's not
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 15
    my responsibility, I've cleaned his litter box from these past two days, followed him to be there while he's eating, and spent nights cuddling with and sleeping with him.
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 16
    I just really feel for this cat. It's obese from being free fed, it never gets any wet food (ever, not once in its whole life), and it sounds like he didn't get enough water up until these past few weeks when the new fountain came in.
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 17
    I don't even know how to begin to tell someone that they're being a terrible pet parent, but I truly feel like she's just neglecting her cat by constantly being gone for so long. My question is, how do I say this in a respectful manner?
    via u/Significant_Ice_8706
  • 18
    KING
    via Merve Bayar from Pexels

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    EldritchGumdrop I fear there isn't really a nice way to tell someone you feel they're neglecting their cat. I also don't feel like that's something that needs sugarcoated either though. Just lay it out for her like you did us.
    via u/EldritchGumdrop
  • 20
    jackfruitbestfruit Stop feeding the cat at 5am. Every time the cat meows at 5am and you feed them, you teach the cat that they can get food from you at 5am. Do whatever you need to do to ignore the cat.
    via u/jackfruitbestfruit
  • 21
    When you have two roommates, you should consider a monthly house meeting. The meeting would be a good time to bring up various things about living together that could be addressed for a better living environment.
    via u/jackfruitbestfruit
  • 22
    Or, you can text your roommate ahead of time that you'd like to talk about some house related things. Set the time ahead of time.
    via u/jackfruitbestfruit
  • 23
    Just don't bring it up to your roommate when they don't expect it, bring it up in a neutral space and set up a time to talk about it so that it's not a surprise.
    via u/jackfruitbestfruit
  • 24
    Set some boundaries around cat sitting and what you expect from your roommate in terms of taking care of their own cat when they're home, and what you want from your roommate while they are gone.
    via u/
  • 25
    Do you expect that she will scoop the litter everyday when she is home? That's something that needs to be said if that is an expectation.
    via u/jackfruitbestfruit
  • 26
    Would you feel better about cat sitting if she paid you? Is she paying you to cat sit?
    via u/jackfruitbestfruit
  • 27
    TrapezoidCircle One option is: You could go all out and treat the cat like ours yours. Be a foster parent. Feed it wet food, take it to the vet, buy it stuff. It might eventually become your cat one day, if you'd like that. People who don't care for pets are usually willing to give them away.
    via u/TrapezoidCircle

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pets friend drama cat owners pawrents neglect roommates Cats animals vacation
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